Archive for category Introspect and reflection

Stories of Life

Movies, books, radio, recordings as well as music and art tell us stories of life. They emphasize circumstance and values viewed from every perspective one can imagine. These are creations often filled with both fact and fiction. Created and expressed by the multitudes who both live and observe life’s experience in this world, they always touch part of us. We see a bit of our values and reflection of character expressed in our reaction as we embrace all these.

It is fascinating to observe life and to experience it. The interesting thing is that our experience from birth, possible from conception, actually affects how we receive and how we express each detail of life. Two people can share side by side experience and yet have a totally different experience. They can share intimate moments and have a different response. With these complex realities, one comes to realize that we are very complex creature. This causes me to identify communication as one of the most important and simultaneously most difficult things we do.

I, for example, am a hopeless romantic. I am a man of over six decades and I watch a rerun of a movie like “You’ve Got Mail” or Sleepless in Seattle and get choked up. I see a good love story or expression of great tribulation and triumphant overcoming and cry. I listen to certain symphonic or orchestral arraignment and become emotional to tears. A sad love song or good love story will bring me to all kinds of emotion. Sometimes a photograph or even a simple thought of moments lost and efforts not made will bring me to emotions of anger, helplessness and great Joy and happiness.

I think one of the most exceptional forms of expression come from physical intimacy. I love deep penetrating looks into the eyes of another person and the touch of their skin. I love the complete surrender of one’s self to another with out self-imposed restriction do fear or inhibition from some previous life experience. To be totally vulnerable and feel safe at the same time is an awesome moment.

Trust is an element of intimacy that cannot be replaced by any other feeling and is not easily faked as it involves all of a person. It is also fragile and easily damaged. For some, if broken it may never be rebuilt. We become self-protective and forgiveness is easy to claim but difficult to actually construct.

It is noteworthy that robotics scientist recognizes the need for a computerized device to learn by trial and error and see it as a necessary part of programming. Then on a human level, we fail in the area of forgiveness and renewal which is part of the trial and error process. Forgiveness and encouragement of constructive and informed actions are withheld over even simple things. The exchange of information that will improve function or intimate and valuable interaction is withheld. Withholding then produces, an action which completely goes against foundational relationship and communication. We become offended and withhold those very things which would heal and improve failure and disappointment as we learn.

Unlike the programming of the robot, the human communication requires a permissive action of each individual involved. We have to receive and impart information if we hope to understand or alter the character of the relationship towards another. I used to think I was good at this communication process but with age, I find I have been at times poor at it. Observing the result is the reason for this statement. Not in the sense that I cannot communicate but in the sense that I have found the communication sometimes superficial and shallow. The process of sharing at a deeper personal level has been and continues to be nearly a total failure. Not in every case , however notably in some. The reason this is an area of concern and brought up is this is where the foundational changes reside. Things that are shallow and superficial never get to the root of the things needing recognition and change. If we only stay at this level we are controlled by emotion and circumstance rather than taking control and commanding the circumstances by affecting reciprocal change. I think my relationship with my wife, our children, in long-term association bears this out. This is not a proud profession but rather a humble realization.

I have noticed in the Bible when salvation and redemptive rejuvenation take place the heart is not repaired, rather it is replaced. This is a huge statement of the human condition. This may shed light on how difficult selfless conduct is in the human interaction.

I have met people who seem much better at it than I. It is possible that deep with in recognition of this reality is why movies that reflect love and selfless intimacy or interaction cause me to become emotional. It is touching on a greater pain of failure towards achieving the same in my own life. It seems shameful that I see ocassions of myself and so many others who obviously have never connected on a deep interpersonal level.

In my most important relationship other than that of my God I consider myself a failure at this point in life. That would be the reflection of relationship with my wife. When we were getting to know who each other was and trying to form a relationship we were much more interested in each other than we have been for the last thirty years. We seem to have grown apart, not closer. Where is the honest communication in a relationship that develops increasing silence and superficial communication? Where is honesty, honesty with self and your mate? Where is blame when it lies first in self?

It occurs to me in the effort to destroy (defeat) Gods creation of man a foundational principle took place. In the garden, before the fall, in the morning God would meet with Adam and walk with him and talk with him. When God created Adam a mate Adam thought it was very good. Then Adam allowed Satan, the serpent, to corrupt him by eating of the Tree of Good and Evil which gave him a perspective he did not previously have. It gave desire and knowledge, not in Adams character.  There was a communication failure between Adam, Eve and God having been perverted by Satan. The immediate result was a spiritual death (not a physical death) of Adam and Eve. This (death) is described as Separation from God. They no longer walked together and talked together. The relationship suffered a communication loss. 

God now had to implement a plan to reinstate the communication with his beloved mankind. In short, that renewal takes place when we accept and come to Jesus the Christ. The divide is overcome as the one that comes to Christ is given to become a New Creature in Christ, receiving a new heart, and now has a direct communication in the Throne room of God. This is, in my opinion, the greatest miracle of all, the renewal of man to God through the payment in full of the penalty of Sin by the Son of God. Jesus, the anointed one, did this on our behalf. God first loved us when we were totally unlovable and undeserving. He had the Grace to move past the divide towards the solution to the divide as he presented his Son the Christ to die for my sin. What an incredible display of Love and Grace for those having a perverted understanding of the same.               

What would happen in our life if we actually forgave and reached out in Love to our spouses, our families, our relatives with a true and honest communication? What if we walked together in a joint exercise learning the Word of God, in Knowing the Person of God who actually describes Himself as Love. He is the definition of Love. It is His character we want to emulate, to put on so to speak as we put on clothing.  What if we let go of self by releasing control of our life circumstance to Christ and trusted him to handle the necessary development to overcome our broken nature. God has in fact given us the tool to do that when we come to his Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus tells us himself that he has sealed us with His Holy Spirit as a promise of His return to receive us as His Bride and take us to be with the Father God.              

To stay in the theme of the above writing God has given us a six thousand-year history of prediction revelation, of life example and Holy Spirit inspired word to Communicate His incredible Love for us. He has given us the tools the ability and even the desire to embrace his gift of Life and Communion with the God of Creation. We have the person of Wisdom shouting from the street to call for Him and we will Receive Him. We have the Seal of the Holy Spirit guaranteeing we shall not be lost and we come to Christ as a perfect spotless Bride. We have the unchanging Character, the perfect Person of God who has pursued us and sought to communicate with us since the dust of the earth had Life Breathed into it by God himself.

Why than struggle with strife, hatred, division, separation, and refusal to grow and communicate with the most important person in our life. Why submit to the great distraction of life trials, of selfish needs, of mental fears and to lusts and perversion. The reason is really reduced down to the desire of the enemy, Satan to prevent the simplest act of communication between you, the creation, and God, the creator.

Let’s strive to choose Life, to accept the persons of God the Father, of Christ the Son and our redemption, of the Holy Spirit who teaches our spirit and communicates for us where we do not know how to communicate with God. Embrace the person of Wisdom and consume the Living Word of God.

It is Jesus Christ himself who tells us that if we will put our eyes on Him first, that He will take care of all of these other things in our life. We have a tendency, do our previous slavery in submission to sin, to focus on all the problem, the trappings, the exaggerations and lusts of the world we view in life as our first priority. We demand control, then we seek to blame someone when it does not work out right and seek God as a desperate solution to our circumstance. In this, we build divide, division, separation, and so on as we leave God out of our actions. He, God is the only one who can see the beginning from the end. He knows the attacks that will come. He will light the path but we must allow it by turning to Him. When we demand control, He will give you the wheel. You may not turn the lights on when you need them.

I took sixty-nine years to come to the point of realizing no matter what else is in your moment of life, the single most important decision we make in each day is to put our eyes on Christ (the anointed One) first. Then give him control and his provision, his plan, his guide in all of your association is the single perfect thing that can happen in our life. 

God is eternal, he is the Alfa and the Omega. We, you and I are described in the Bible in this thing we call Life as but a vapor. Think about that a moment as you measure all of your priorities. A vapor if you have ever observed a tea kettle steaming, that vapor is here and gone in an instant. Yet, God says things like “He knew us before the foundations of the earth were laid”. He knit us together in the womb and we have an eternal life.  As we measure the enormity of this I suggest putting the brief years we have (60, 80, 90) in comparison to the above. 

I ask myself, do I want to let the perceived image of all that this world offers to dilute the reality? Do I want to let all of the circumstance, the drama, the excess of temporary and brief life interfere with the communication that my God has sought with me? The answer is really simple. Communication with Him and the relationship of His love is the single most important thing in the entirety of this brief thing we call life. This Communication with the one who sought us first, who loved us first, who redeemed us and renewed us to him that we might, Walk with Him, and Talk with Him, is the single most important thing you can do in this life. It is literally the foundation and the value that should affect every other communication in our life.

You must daily make a decision, which voice, which communication will guide you and create who you become. Where will it lead you? Will you choose to build Life or death? I personally have chosen Life; for Life choose me First and pursued me even when I was lost and unlovable. He, My God, the God of Creation and the giver of Life has since the beginning of time sought to commune with me. Do you realize that is our position?

Choose Him, Choose Life, do not be silent and continue the divide, Embrace and Communicate each and every day of your life. It, after all, is the foundation of LIFE.

by Mark A Edgar

a personal testimony


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